Monday, January 03, 2005

First off: testing, testing.

I don't know why, but I felt so prissy and annoyed and tortured today I didn't want to talk to S. I bought lunch and went somewhere to sit alone, where I could see a lot of trees lining the resevoir, and the trees helped to calm me down a bit.

Y'know, those people who treat me as a friend? I've got absolutely no obligation to treat them like a friend, if I don't think I want to, if I don't think they deserve it.

And, honestly, even after a year of being 'close,' always hanging out together, choosing the same electives both times, I get so fucking annoyed with her for reasons I think I know. I mean: people always say not to work together in a group if you want to keep the friendship, right? And yea, but that's only part of the reason.

I find her more snobbish lately. High and mighty. Like, she has to do everything her way even when the majority says otherwise.

I've forgotten how eating alone and being alone can be so enjoyable and peaceful, without commitments, without obligations.

I've got few extremely close friends, and I really wouldn't count her as one of them, despite what anyone else might think.