Saturday, September 24, 2005

Affections. They scare me still. A lot.

Vulnerability. This scares me even worse.

But dare I open up? Promises or no?

He accidentally saw the scars on my tricep today. I was trying to make damned sure I didn't accidentally reveal them, and then I kinda forgot about them, thinking that my sleeves did a well enough job. His implorations for me to TRY not to do that almost made me cry. But I didn't: I wouldn't allow myself to break down.

*sighs*

It seems that I'm still not as comfortable with him as he is with me. But it's no surprise: I'm truly comfortable with few people, even my own parents. Also, I was brought up by BRUCE. Being truly comfortable with many isn't such an easy task, not for him, and not for me.

We talked about our similarities and differences, because, honestly speaking, he and I are seriously OPPOSITES on the surface. Everyone says so, and even we agree so, to an extent. But, generalizing things a bit, our differences are mainly the shallow things: interests (book/music genres, movies, sports etc.), preferences etc. Going a bit deeper, there are similarities in the differences: like...religions and beliefs: we believe in different things, but are held together by the same respect for each other.

And then, the similarities: the common pain, the common fear, the common familarity. The deepest things, the things that hit the hardest.

Two strangers staring, yet each seemed familiar
Common grounds formed from pain and fear.