Saturday, September 10, 2005

Spent time with Az for almost the whole of yesterday, after driving. First came the Creative sale. Bought some 350 bucks stuff. Heh. But that's okay I guess, since I do need the music to keep me sane.

Met up with 3rd uncle and Edward-uncle. The latter didn't recognize me. And he asked me who Az was, so I just told the truth. Let's see how fast things spread on their side *sarcastic laugh* 3rd uncle looked haggard, and I felt really bad for him, knowing the stress he must be going through. *sighs* I like my uncle, and really don't want to see him this tired and stressed.

Sharon, Az and I went to Punggol Beach. Had some talk with Sharon. I dunno...she's changed to become more materialistic, I feel, which reflects greatly in her dress-sense these days. As we talked, though, I felt a sort of world-weariness from her, and I think that bridged the gap a little. I'm wondering, though, if that common ground will even be enough for us to truly re-start the friendship again.

Sent Sharon off at around 8pm, then Az and I headed to chill at Punggol Park until about 10.30pm. When we first sat down, I felt a sudden melancholy take me. I think that came from the fact that I was torn over my friendship with Sharon (still am, in fact), and that Az will be going for NS come Tuesday. I'll miss him. *sighs* Like I said, even though I'm starting to open up quite a bit, I'm still afraid of its implications. Even as I like him, it's my nature--my training--to be wary, to hold back.

Four weeks. Four weeks since we've been together, kind of. They've gone by in a blur that's also very sharp, very memorable: the lunches, the time spent after my knock off, the time spent with his cohort people laughing like crazy, time spent on the train...just time together, no matter how small.

Then I remember the small gestures of appreciation we have: thumbs caressing thumbs, hugs, even the choke-holds.

I guess I'll miss him more than I think I will...