Thursday, December 01, 2005

There're few things harder than to pretend something isn't when it is.

Honestly, despite everything I told him, I'm still affected by what his mother said; the implications of her words and other compounding factors should things go too far, reach that point.

I've told a few about this particular problem. What they've all told me is to take things one day at a time, and only decide if things ever got to the point of marriage.

But you know what? I don't think I can do that. I can't just leave things to chance, letting the relationship go deeper and deeper, placing more emotional attachment each time. And then, in the end, just break the whole fucking thing just because of religion.

I'm sorry, but I just can't. I can't do this, not if you gave me forever.

And I really don't want it to tear me up inside with resentment, and then hurt him because of that.