Tuesday, April 18, 2006

BELTANE: 11 DAYS; SENSITIVITY, BOUNDARIES, PAIN, EXHAUSTION

For many years, I've been told by a lot of people that I'm a cold, heartless person. My whole family has said that: bro, sis, mom, dad, even my domestic helper.

And I'll gladly admit: I am a heartless bitch most of the time. And I don't care about what that makes me, or how people view me.

However, I'm not insensitive, most of the times, at least. Strange and ironic as that sounds, yeah. I'm heartless, but not insensitive. Go figure.

But I need to learn how not to overstep into people's boundaries; I need to learn when I can or cannot do or say certain things.

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For the past two to three weeks, my back's been getting worse. Everynight, when I curl up on my side to sleep, slinging one leg over my bolster, my back aches, and the muscles tighten uncomfortably. So I've taken to sleeping on my back now.

Gah.

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I'm tired.

I give up.